Occasional quote for the day

There’s nothing wrong with fear; the only mistake is to let it stop you in your tracks.”

Down: An Unfitting Metaphor

Jump in.

I remember standing at the top of a water slide when I was a kid, wishing for the courage to push  myself down to the fun I was promised by my mother.  She’s at the bottom yelling “just come down. It’ll be fun!” I turned around and went down the ladder while the other kids resisted getting out of my way.  They were waiting their turn to slide down to a splash of fun.

We often use metaphors involving “going down” ~ taking the plunge, diving in, going over the edge or leaping off the cliff (in extreme cases)~ to indicate that we are venturing into something new, something unforeseen or something scary.  Sometimes, its an unfortunate metaphor.  I have stood at the edge of many experiences where I wished I had a metaphor for UP to think about what I was about to undertake . .  . but DOWN it was . . . take the plunge . . . marriage, divorce, raising a child.  These deserve a new metaphor.

All the same, jumping in is part of growing up.  And sometimes, especially on a warm summer’s evening when the sunset’s cooling the air, the water is just warm enough and beautifully still enough to hold you.

Feeding courage

The Toltecs say that the food of the parasite is fear.  The more fear it can produce, the stronger it becomes. Some parasites are very big and strong, manipulating their humans into angry or violent behavior toward themselves and others. Other parasites are more benign, and only cause mild anxiety and confusion in their hosts and other humans.

Fear destroys awareness. It is impossible for a mind overcome by fear to respond to anything appropriately. It can only react.

Fear clouds perception, and confusion, and . . .

Fear is often the source of journal entries . . . I apologize to my reader who has already come to terms and/or is more enlightened regarding the role of fear in our personal stories — in our forgetting how fear shaped our own stories, or forgetting how they continue to change our relationships.

In my life fear changes conversations regularly.  My own fear, and the fear of those with whom I’m talking shape how they engage with me, what they’re willing to commit, and how they’ll trust in my words.  This unspoken fear dialogue is reactive and keeps us from achieving together.  Some days I find myself so confused and saddened by it.

So my son and I took a small step toward courage.  A few months ago we created a mantra for courage that we repeat in the car on our way to school and work in the morning each day:

“I am capable and resourceful, and I can handle anything the world gives me.”

My son says I’m insane for making him repeat it aloud every single day.  Of course, he’s in middle school and thinks I’m insane a lot (that’s another story entirely); but I see him less consumed by his fears since we’ve been saying it.  And I am reminded that I choose to feed my courage to engage honestly with others, even if they lead with their fear.

Courage is a more satisfying and ultimately more joyful choice, even if it feels more difficult in the moment.